You Have To Love Someone Without Fear
You have to love someone without fear. You have to trust in things you can’t always see. Sometimes you have to walk with a blindfold on. You won’t always know where you’re going. There’s never a guarantee.
When we love, there’s always the risk of a bruised heart. Egos take a few steps back. Loving someone requires belief in the unbelievable. It requires leaping without looking. It means being scared, but going for it anyway. It means knowing things might not work out, but giving it a shot.
You have to love someone without fear. You have to find the courage to open yourself up to another human being. You need to learn to be okay with vulnerability. Doesn’t mean it’s easy. Doesn’t mean the nerves won’t find you. But fear will hold you back from fully loving, and from being fully loved.
There’s an entire world waiting for you. There’s a universe that exists just for you and another person. Exploration means bravery. It means taking a dive. It means holding out your hands and hoping someone will grab onto them. Love means hoping someone is going to catch you. Love is thinking they will. Love is giving it a damn chance.
Maybe you’ll be hurt. Maybe they’ll be days when your walls are thicker than the desire to let someone in. I understand. Letting someone see you is frightening. Letting someone love you, love every single piece of you is daunting.
There’s a quote widely attributed to Maya Angelou, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
Let that thing be love.
You have to love someone without fear, even if it’s there in the beginning. It’s okay to be afraid, but don’t let that close you off. Don’t let fear dictate what you do, or who you love, or how you love.
The hardest things to do often become things we’re forever grateful for. Love is no exception.
Love someone without fear. Even if it’s the scariest thing you’ll ever do.
💌 Zuhura Neiseiyo
I’m gonna need you to love me a little harder sometimes. Most days, I’ll act like I’m just fine. I’ll paint my smile across my face and wear it proudly. I’ll laugh loudly like I’ve never tasted sadness in my life. But other days, I will not be so strong. I will not walk boldly into the room, I will collapse into it. My vision of life will be clouded by darkness, and I will make my walls extra thick in hopes that you don’t notice. Please, notice. And when you do, pull me close. Hold me until we’re both too warm for anything else to matter. Let me breathe you in. Tell me that you love me, don’t stop until I respond, and then tell me again. I know this could be inconvenient for you, and I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a bother, but sometimes I need to be told that I’m worth it.
My fantasy plea;.-
I Don’t Want Casual, I Want Real.
I don’t want to be the text you ignore on Friday nights, but respond to on lazy Sundays when you have no other plans. I don’t want to be the person you think about when you’re lonely, when you want someone to fill the empty space on the other side of your bed.
I don’t want to be the ‘sometimes,’ the almost-but-not-quite, the more-than-friends-but-not-a-girlfriend, labeled with a smirk or brushed off when I’m brought up around your friends.
I don’t want whatever this is;-whatever the world labels half-love, half-assed, non-commitment,because I don’t want to waste time with someone who isn’t all in.
I don’t want casual. I want something real.
I want to fall in love with someone who wants to learn every part of me, who asks about my past and wonders about my future, who lays down and listens to the stories that run through my mind. I want to fall in love with someone who is curious, who wants to discover parts of me I didn’t know I was hiding, and unfold his secrets out to me, one by one.
I want to fall in love with someone who isn’t scared to fall.
Someone who doesn’t hesitat. Who doesn’t think of the past before reaching out to me, who doesn’t hold me accountable for the pain from his last relationship, who trusts me, without question.
Someone who knows what he wants, and knows that he wants us. Who isn’t too afraid to step forward, to reach for my hand, to claim me as his.
I want to fall in love with someone who is passionate.
Someone who won’t settle for only seeing me from ‘time to time’ or when he’s bored, but someone who will initiate plans as much as I will. Who won’t back out last minute. Who won’t just call when it’s late at night and he’s drunk.
I want to fall in love with someone who wants to grow with me, alongside me, together. Someone who is continually journeying with me, not afraid to try new things, to mess up, to give his whole self to me without regret.
I don’t want a relationship that can’t be labeled, a connection that has no commitment nor promise of a future. I want someone whose heart I can hold.
I don’t want casual. I don’t want random dates or hookups. I don’t want moments that are only beautiful when we’re together, but quickly forgotten when we’re apart. I don’t want to be a ‘thing’ instead of a couple.
I don’t want to be just a number in a call log, just another text on phone screen. I don’t want to be someone regarded as ‘temporary,’ as ‘fun,’ as ‘that one girl.’
I want to be the girl.
And I want something that matters, something that’s special, something that’s filled with affection and care that goes far beyond the physical.
I want promises and a future.
I want together, committed, passionate.
I want love.
I want real.
And I found it .
💌 Zuhura Neiseiyo.
Love is not always beautiful. sometimes love has thorns, rough edges, and sharp sides. sometimes love has flaws and imperfections. what makes love beautiful is the decision to choose love despite how imperfect it is. the decision to choose love through adversity. a love that never gives up, is always the best kind of love, and a lover that chooses love, is always the best kind of lover.
He’s In Love With You
He sends you a message almost every morning.
When the first thought he has in the morning is you, that’s when you know that he’s in love.
Love is a form of obsession : it can be very healthy and incredibly rewarding. When you’ve infiltrated his psyche to the point that he wakes up thinking of you, that’s when you know you’ve got him. Of course, not all guys are open about the way they feel , some are even doing their best to resist the urge to contact you and wish you a good morning.
But when you’re in love, you have only so much self-control. Even the strongest-willed man will break a few times a week and show you that you’re his weakness.
He checks up on you randomly just to see how you’re doing.
People ( both men and women )are egocentric beings. Women do have a tendency to be more giving and caring, but generally speaking, we’re our own favorite people.
Until, that is, we fall in love.
Once you fall in love, you begin to care just as much about this other person as you do yourself. Men can be especially funny when it comes to checking up their girlfriends … some will try and play it off as if they don’t care as much as they really do , but if he’s hitting you up multiple times a week, for seemingly no reason at all, that’s when you know he’s hooked.
He doesn’t mind going out of his way to make your life easier.
He didn’t mind being worse off as long as she was better off.
He lights up when he sees you.
Love is happiness. Love is joy. Love is a mind filled with great memories and thoughts of a wonderful future together. You can’t possibly have all that on your mind and not smile.
If he grins from ear to ear , if his eyes light up at the sight of you -he’s in love with you. If he loves you, you’ll receive just about all of his attention.
He asks you about your day, and then he actually listens.
I remember being in love and caring so much about my Adrenaline’s day that I even wanted to know what he ate (to make sure she was staying healthy). That’s love.
When your man cares about you so much that he wants to know what’s going on in your life , in the finest of details ,wants to know what you did, what you saw, how you succeeded and failed, the adventures that you went on, he loves you. He wants to know about your day because he wants to be a part of it in some way or another , even though he wasn’t there by your side to actually experience it.
He asks you for your opinion.
And this isn’t just so that you feel like you’re giving your two cents. He wants to know your thoughts on the matter because he values your opinion. He values the way that you see the world and wants to make sure that his life aligns with yours as much as possible.
When a man loves you, he wants your input on his life because ‘ maybe without even knowing it , he is trying to merge his with yours. And what better way than to start seeing the world through your eyes?
He gives you the better half because he believes that you are his better half.
As kids, just about all of us were taught to share. But this isn’t just sharing; this is giving. To him, giving you more is just the same as if he were taking more himself. It’s better, even, because it makes him even happier.
He protects you. Or, at the very least, he tries.
He checks up on you. He is always there when you’re feeling down or under the weather.
When a man cares for you better than he cares for himself, he loves you. He may not be a fighter, but seeing you in danger flips a switch. He turns from a teddy bear to a warrior in zero seconds .
Why Every Woman Should Make Her Man Work For It
There are a couple of facts that we would all be better off accepting. There is no such thing as running away from pain and suffering . we only trade in one unpleasantry for another. And two, the only way to be happy is to view certain unpleasantries as a form of pleasantness ; not all, as some situations are horrible no matter how you look at them. But because we cannot escape feeling uncomfortable indefinitely, we have to figure out a way of not taking uncomfortability, pain, suffering, sadness, to mean unhappiness.
As many of you I’m sure have come to accept the fact that we’re both designed and destined to work our way between one problem and the next, living a life you can be proud of comes down to simply accepting that things are never going to be just the way you want them to be, and accepting that the only happiness to be found is in finding solutions to the problems that will endlessly present themselves. That’s right. The only way to be happy is to work on fixing the problems you have. However, it’s not in the solution to those problems that you’ll find peace and content in, but in the work that it takes to come up with the solutions.
Everyone has problems.
They range from small and insignificant, to grand and debilitating. Being hungry or thirsty is a problem. Craving drugs and alcohol is a problem. Meeting a girl that isn’t head over heels for you from the start, is a problem. Figuring out how to make her fall in love with you, is a problem. Figuring out how to pay rent is a problem. Figuring out how to cover bills is a problem.
The only thing I can promise you is that you will never, ever, ever run out of problems. Accept it. Think about it for a bit if you have to, but then accept it. Even if you were to start living your dream life, you’d still have problems. Maybe better problems, but problems nonetheless. More importantly, and this one is usually the hardest for people to wrap their minds around, we like problems.
We hate them, but as soon as we overcome them, we love where they brought us. Problems, and finding it in ourselves to overcome them, are what make us better people. They’re what make us happy. But it’s more than just that. Take a second to imagine your life with no problems whatsoever. What would you do? You can tell yourself that you’d travel the world, that you’d have the time of your life, that you’d finally be at peace with yourself, finally be happy. Problem is that the future you’re dreaming of is an impossibility. No problems isn’t an option; it’s not on the menu. Human beings create problems where problems cannot be found. It’s in our DNA.
The way you approach, understand, accept and work on, or deny your problems, defines who you are as a person. It quite literally defines you as it defines the way you look at and live your life. The better you are at perceiving and solving your problems, the better off you will be in life.
I’m talking about the fact that the best romantic life partners in the world, are those that can avoid getting drowned by their problems, and push themselves to work on coming up and implementing solutions. It’s these people, and only these people, that can be said to be happy. Not infinitely happy, because there is no such thing. But, they’re happy regularly enough to be worth keeping in your life.
Both men and women are complicated beings. However, the former , let’s be honest ;have had it much easier in life. Men have always had it easier. Sure, their dreams and aspirations more often than not ended up being their undoing ^ being given too many opportunities in life has had the opposite effect of making men believe they wouldn’t need to overcome their problems themselves. Or rather, inflated their egos so much that they assumed they’d be able to overcome anything that comes their way with ease ‘ which turns out isn’t always the case.
There are a lot of men out there (and don’t get me wrong, plenty of women) that don’t understand that overcoming the problems they face in life is what life’s all about. Again, in case you’ve forgotten, problems are unavoidable. You can’t hide or run from them forever, because they will find you and run you down. If you can’t ignore your problems forever, you either have to fix them, or fall victim to them.
Men need problems in their life to be happy.
That is always the case. Now ladies, don’t take this as a green light to drive your man nuts. What you have to understand is that you’re already a headache. Don’t get offended. Being in a relationship, for most men at least, is already difficult. And if it’s difficult, it can easily be interpreted as an unpleasantry. Love can be very unpleasant. But it can likewise be magical.
In fact, it’s overcoming the unpleasantries that allows true love to form. If your relationship is too perfect, then it isn’t real. It’s just not. One or both of you is allowing yourself to be ignorant to some facts. It’s having to work for something, work towards something ^ a common dream or hope ‘ that makes love worth it all. It’s the problems that being in a relationship create, that make the whole thing worthwhile.
Again, this is not to say that you ought to create problems , I know some girls seem to take pleasure in such activities. Problems present themselves regardless. You don’t need to push the envelope any further. At the same time, however, you can’t make things too easy for him. Why? Because the only way you can be making it easy for him, is if you’re making it difficult for yourself.
You’re pretending that the problems you’re feeling don’t exist. So while he’s ignorant to the fact that there’s a problem, you’re in the trenches. This won’t work out well for you guys. You’ll eventually crack and the whole thing will blow up in both of your faces. So then what the hell are you supposed to do?
You’re supposed to be an adult. When there’s a problem, speak your mind. Don’t blow things out of proportion, but be honest with yourself and with him. Don’t create issues where there aren’t any, and you’d be best to make sure that there really is a problem before sharing it, but when there is an issue, you need to deal with it together. Don’t give him everything he wants, because once you do, there won’t be anything left for him to want.
Don’t get into bed with him too quickly ,unless you want to.
Don’t come over to ‘Netflix & chill’ ,make him take you out on a proper date. Don’t chase him down all the time , let him do some chasing himself. Love is the answer. It’s the solution. However, you can’t come to a solution unless you first have a problem to solve. Give him the right problems, the little problems that keep you on his mind, that make him want to work for it, want to impress you, want to make you happy, and he’ll be there for you. Give him everything, and he’ll lose interest in you. Give him too many problems, and he’ll run for the hills. It’s a delicate matter for sure, but no one said love was easy.
There Are No Mistakes In Love
Maybe you fell into the wrong person, wrong relationship, wrong time, wrong place. Maybe you gave everything to a connection you thought was real and permanent and you ended up alone. Maybe you trusted, shared your life, made a promise for better or worse to stand beside someone and they failed you. Maybe somewhere down the road you realized you weren’t ready for a relationship, couldn’t be the person you needed to be for someone else. Maybe you stood powerlessly as someone broke your heart into a million pieces. Maybe you’re just ready to give up on love altogether.
Wherever you are, I want you to know something—there are no mistakes in love.
The person you fell for, the one who disappointed, who cheated, who lied, who left? That person was placed into your life intentionally, for both a blessing and lesson to your future self. If you hadn’t met that person, hadn’t loved them, hadn’t trusted them, you wouldn’t have known the pain of brokenness. You wouldn’t have experienced the loss of love. You wouldn’t be as strong as you are right now.
The connection that failed over time? Without it, you wouldn’t recognize lasting love when it finally comes to you. You wouldn’t be able to see the difference between affection and commitment. You wouldn’t know who you are and what you deserve.
The promises that were broken? These taught you to be careful, to give your heart to someone who is genuine and will be there when push comes to shove.
The love you lost because you weren’t ready, because you couldn’t commit? This showed you what you needed, who you could be when the time was right, and how you have the power to hurt those around you, so you must always proceed with caution.
The broken heart you’ve learned to re-heal in time? The pain showed you your resilience, your strength, your capacity to forgive and open again. Without your broken heart, you would be naïve and foolish. Without your broken heart, you wouldn’t know the beauty of real love when it finally stumbles across your path.
There are no mistakes in love, only moments where you learn, grow, and rebuild.
Every break in your path teaches you something, shows you what love can be, shows you what you deserve, shows you that you must not settle for less when it comes to matters of the heart.
So often we think our failed relationships mean we’ve wasted our time. We believe that since we were with the wrong person or in the wrong relationship, we’ve made such a terrible mistake.
But there are no mistakes.
You let someone in. You loved. You gave your heart. You were happy, for a period of time. And that’s not a mistake, no matter the outcome.
You cannot live your life in regret, wishing you could go back and press the ‘rewind’ button, wishing you could start over and unlove some people. Every kiss, every date, every relationship you were in had a purpose, even if it became nothing in the end.
You grew into a new person, you strengthened your heart, you cared for someone outside of yourself—and that’s beautiful, despite the outcome.
There are no mistakes. Just connections that failed, just people who weren’t right for you, just relationships that didn’t work out. But this is no reason to feel defeated.
You opened yourself, you let someone in, you were vulnerable. And this is one of the most powerful and incredible things you can do.
Don’t regret the way you loved.
Don’t look back and wish you could change parts of your past or erase time. Because time wasn’t lost, is never lost in loving.
Every moment you open yourself, every moment you decide to be real and fragile and emotional with someone is a gain. You gain knowledge, strength, kindness, passion, heart, and a sense of self.
And that can never, ever be a mistake.
I have no love interests in my life but that doesn’t scare me and doesn’t mean one day I won’t have that again. And perhaps then, I will be comfortable enough with myself. I had so many things to discover on my own and I needed to go through that process by myself. I have learned to be comfortable alone without guilt or fear of scrutiny from others. It has opened so many more doors and allowed me to truly grow into the person I always knew I was capable of becoming. It gives me a chance to think about things, to tell myself where I’m going wrong in life and to compliment myself on little achievements. It helps me take things one step at a time. I know that I will not be alone forever and look forward to the day when I can share my life with someone I will love. But for now, the person I most want to lean on for security, for strength and for comfort is myself. It’s the healthiest relationship I have ever had.
Sitting in this hospital bed made finally made me think about a few things ….You know realisation will only hit you at your weakest point ,or let’s just say at that moment when you have nothing firm to think about .
Ever thought about it ?
The adrenaline ?
What is it or who is it ?why do we experience it ?.
Well according to normal description ..Adrenaline is termed as a substance produced in the body when you are excited,afraid or angry .It makes the heart beat faster and increases your energy and ability to move quickly ….
What’s zuhura’s description…….To me Adrenaline is a person who corrupts your mind and makes you think in some type of way for a short period of time and brings about excitement which doesn’t last .
Okay okay …what made you think of that huh ?
I know that question even I can’t answer that but maybe an experience is what is able to define certain reactions .
Have you ever been soo drawn to a person that even if they aren’t physically close to you ,you still get the tingly feeling each time you think about them???Now that’s adrenaline .
You know that person that makes you over think things sometimes ?Things that even you wonder how you came about to do them ??now that’s adrenaline .
Ever just been soo distracted by just thinking about someone ?if they felt the same way about you ?if they even think about you as much as you think about them ?if they get this ear to ear smile too ??I know right ?That’s your adrenaline right there.
Find it because you will only feel this adrenaline once in your whole lifetime .💘
How To Love An Alpha Girl
An alpha female is strong as hell. She has a great group of friends, has self confidence, knows what she wants and goes after it with no hesitation. She is fierce and doesn’t want to be tamed.
Don’t try to change her. Don’t try to turn her into something she is not. She was not made to sink and to bend. She was made to swim and fly. She was made to shine so brightly. So don’t even attempt to dim her blinding light.
Know that she does not need you. She does not need you to be happy or to feel fulfilled. But she loves you. She wants you. She chose you. And trust me, she had a lot of options.
So love her back.
Show up for her when you can tell that she needs you but won’t necessarily tell you. Show up when she is silent at night and you know something is bothering her. She is not made of steel even though she thinks she is. She is going to break sometimes. She is going to tear. She is going to crash.
Don’t you dare give up on her when she gives up on herself. Don’t turn your back on her. Yes, she doesn’t need you. But she will want you to be there. She will want you to show her that you give a damn. She will want you to show her that you won’t go anywhere. That you actually live up to your promises.
Don’t act like she’s your possession or prize. She is a human being. Treat her like one.
Know that she is a go getter. Know that she is a strong woman. She is resilient. She isn’t with you for fun, or for a fling. She is with you for the real deal. She is with you because she sees something good in you. She is with you because she sees a future. Because you are someone special. And she deserves something special. She deserves someone special.
She won’t take shit from you. She won’t take your crap, your games, or your nonsense. She is not going to put up with that. She knows her worth. She knows her heart and her soul and she knows that she deserves someone who can give her the world.
Be honest with her. Tell her how you feel. Don’t beat round the bush. Don’t hide from your feelings and from what your heart is telling you. Be a good man. Be a decent man and be a better man for her and for her future.
If you feel your feelings are fading don’t stick around. If you feel like your heart is slowly distancing itself from hers, leave. Don’t wait. Don’t lie to her. She is strong enough to handle your leaving. She is strong enough to handle your wreckage.
Oh and if you break her heart? She won’t ever take you back again. She won’t ever look at you in the same light. She won’t ever smile at you in the same way again. But she will move on. She will persevere. It’s what she’s good at. Surviving and growing and blooming.
She will survive without your love. Believe me, she will do more than just survive. She will do so much more. Without you.
💌 Zuhura Neiseiyo.