CRAVINGS.

 Love came knocking and i’ll make a little noise about it.

You Have To Love Someone Without Fear‬ ….

‪ ‪You have to learn to love someone without fear.

You have to trust in things you can’t always see. Sometimes you have to walk with a blindfold on.

You won’t always know where you’re going. There’s never a guarantee.‬ ‪When we love, there’s always the risk of a bruised heart. Egos take a few steps back.

Loving someone requires belief in the unbelievable. It requires leaping without looking. It means being scared, but going for it anyway. It means knowing things might not work out, but giving it a shot.‬

‪You have to love someone without fear. You have to find the courage to open yourself up to another human being. You need to learn to be okay with vulnerability. Doesn’t mean it’s easy. Doesn’t mean the nerves won’t find you. But fear will hold you back from fully loving, and from being fully loved.‬

‪There’s an entire world waiting for you. There’s a universe that exists just for you and another person. Exploration means bravery. It means taking a dive. It means holding out your hands and hoping someone will grab onto them.

Love means hoping someone is going to catch you. Love is thinking they will. Love is giving it a damn chance.‬ ‪Maybe you’ll be hurt. Maybe they’ll be days when your walls are thicker than the desire to let someone in. I understand. Letting someone see you is frightening. Letting someone love you, love every single piece of you is daunting.‬ ‪There’s a quote widely attributed to Maya Angelou, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”‬ ‪Let that thing be love.‬ ‪You have to love someone without fear, even if it’s there in the beginning. It’s okay to be afraid, but don’t let that close you off. Don’t let fear dictate what you do, or who you love, or how you love.‬ ‪The hardest things to do often become things we’re forever grateful for.

Love is no exception.‬ ‪

Love someone without fear. Even if it’s the scariest thing you’ll ever do

FANTASIES.

My fantasy plea;.-

‪I Don’t Want Casual, I Want Real.
I don’t want to be the text you ignore on Friday nights, but respond to on lazy Sundays when you have no other plans. I don’t want to be the person you think about when you’re lonely, when you want someone to fill the empty space on the other side of your bed.‬
‪I don’t want to be the ‘sometimes,’ the almost-but-not-quite, the more-than-friends-but-not-a-girlfriend, labeled with a smirk or brushed off when I’m brought up around your friends.‬
‪I don’t want whatever this is;-whatever the world labels half-love, half-assed, non-commitment,because I don’t want to waste time with someone who isn’t all in.‬
‪I don’t want casual. I want something real.‬
‪I want to fall in love with someone who wants to learn every part of me, who asks about my past and wonders about my future, who lays down and listens to the stories that run through my mind. I want to fall in love with someone who is curious, who wants to discover parts of me I didn’t know I was hiding, and unfold his secrets out to me, one by one.‬
‪I want to fall in love with someone who isn’t scared to fall.‬
‪Someone who doesn’t hesitate. Who doesn’t think of the past before reaching out to me, who doesn’t hold me accountable for the pain from his last relationship, who trusts me, without question.‬
‪Someone who knows what he wants, and knows that he wants us. Who isn’t too afraid to step forward, to reach for my hand, to claim me as his.‬
‪I want to fall in love with someone who is passionate.‬
‪Someone who won’t settle for only seeing me from ‘time to time’ or when he’s bored, but someone who will initiate plans as much as I will. Who won’t back out last minute. Who won’t just call when it’s late at night and he’s drunk.‬
‪I want to fall in love with someone who wants to grow with me, alongside me, together. Someone who is continually journeying with me, not afraid to try new things, to mess up, to give his whole self to me without regret.‬
‪I don’t want a relationship that can’t be labeled, a connection that has no commitment nor promise of a future. I want someone whose heart I can hold.‬
‪I don’t want casual. I don’t want random dates or hookups. I don’t want moments that are only beautiful when we’re together, but quickly forgotten when we’re apart. I don’t want to be a ‘thing’ instead of a couple.‬
‪I don’t want to be just a number in a call log, just another text on phone screen. I don’t want to be someone regarded as ‘temporary,’ as ‘fun,’ as ‘that one girl.’‬
‪I want to be the girl.‬
‪And I want something that matters, something that’s special, something that’s filled with affection and care that goes far beyond the physical.‬
‪I want promises and a future.‬

‪I want together, committed, passionate.‬

‪I want love.‬

‪I want real. ‬

And I found it .
‪

BRAND OF QUALITY.

Hey guys ,

it’s been a while since I wrote…i did a poll about a week ago and it tied up that i should do both a vlog and a blog..so here i am.

well, today I just wanna talk about believing in your goals,self-worth and respecting oneself.

I’m gonna put a lot moral lessons into this and if my thoughts alter your opinion just drop a comment.

I’ve seriously had a dream even bigger than me that one day I’ll stand before a auditorium and preach to a congregation.It may seem super hilarious to some of you,but you know yet again…God will never put you up to something you cannot do.

Identify your potential and recognise the fuels that ignite it.My long term goal is to make sure I achieve this dream i keep having…not because i want to impress anyone but Because even God has seen that potential capable in me..i just need to unlock it.Back to you…what’s my point and what am i aiming at?

I’m saying no dream is bigger to be achieved.It might seem big when people start laughing at you terming it unrealistic..but deep down yourself you need to be aware that your dream is bigger than everyone who is trying to bring you down..I have not made it yet in life because I’m not where i have set my goals at but i can tell you one thing for free you going to have three friends supporting you,guiding you,motivating and inspiring you to be better and the other ninety-seven will just be there laughing and criticizing you like you can’t make it to be a better person..

Life is not a bed of roses I assure you that..It’s more like a cactus so to say..The content and importance of it is in it’s depth..Respect yourself to acknowledge that you deserve better goals,better achievements and greater sucess.Stop limiting yourself to the unlocking of your gifting and potentials with the “i can’t do that, no one in our family can do that,i don’t have connections” ,it’s all just pointless if you don’t put an effort in it.

“Start believing in yourself before I can even believe in you,so that even if you come to lay down a proposal for me i will openly take it up for consideration” is what my Boss tells me..and you know believe it or not it is true.

Once your confidence is at peak,no one is going to doubt your capability..because everyone is going to believe you can do it..Nothing on this entire earth boosts your self-worth and esteem like people believing in you and knowing you can do even what is dimmed impossible by others.

Be very bothered if you’re at a place of comfort at the moment,because success is continuous and its never ending..Wake up ,go and grind get that money right sis.Pay your bills,let no one distract you from your main dreams goals and objectives.Respect yourself so much to know that you owe it to you to make sure you achieve all this goals.Am vibing with someone? I hope so…

Learn the term good riddance.Once you acknowledge your worth there are certain things you’ll just never do out of self-respect and when they come your way you’ll have to get rid off them for the expense of your dremas.Understand the environment that you let dwell around you…what you are associated with is what you become…and sadly we can’t teach an old dog new tricks.>>.by that I mean even at your youth be cautious of the people you tend to relate with…because once the impact is made it’s hard to reverse…Your friends should be people who influence your thinking and judgement in a positive direction.Yearn for people who thirst for the same goals as you do if not higher goals…,because they can be your pacesetters.

Be very bothered by people who don’t correct you when they clearly see you do wrong.It’s either they don’t want to see you progressing or they are not headed in the same direction as you.honestly if I saw one of my friends do something wrong i’ll correct them on the spot to avoid future consequences.

Growing up with a single mum I’ve been taught all there is to be about being your own independent person,,but then again if you can find a person who is willing to join you to conquer those goals with you then join hands and do the best your potentials can amount to.okay okay!Here’s the catch…I tend to see women lose focus sometimes just because they got into a relationship with the wrong person..mehn!i’m gonna say for the last time….if you ain’t ready and settled for love,relationships and commitments then just let it be..Every single thing has its own timing.Get yourself a partner who’s motivating you to be more than what you are..not one who’s making you lazy and sleep on your job(getting your goals).Not ,i repeat not at any point should a man be the dictator of how you gonna earn your money…atleast not in this lifetime..even if you grind harder than him,its allowed sis because we are equal before God’s eyes…so go get that money right boo and if he doesn’t support your progress you know what to do.

Believe that you are cut out for the best. make your gaols and objectives aligned.You can only make it when you know how valuable you are and your worth.Respect yourself and only go for the best..because if you go for little that’s how people are going to relate to you.

BE YOUR OWN BRAND OF QUALITY.

The love of my heart.

once upon a time i thought that having money and the material needs was the happiest way to living a life,only to find out how wrong i was.Many are the times i would argue with my mother becuase of the things she wasn’t able to provide at the time.I got angry a couple of times and even refused to eat somedays ..(haha,i was a stubborn child i know but she loved me all the same.)In my judgement i thought she was being  unfair and didn’t want the best for me ,but then again how can your own parent not have the best intentions for you?..kids think alot i’m not even suprised at myself i’m just embarassed on my behalf..All of you know how growing with a single parent can be quite hectic..but all the same we thank God for atleast having the opportunity to have them in our lives to strengthen us and show us that life can go on with or without a man in your life.Back to my point,….Appreciating parents efforts towards our life is a complete and total blessing by itself …the bible say for you shall respect your father and mother ,not one  but both..even if they don’t give you all there is to this world they do their best to make sure you’re happy irregardless of the situation…This is specially dedicated to my mother,the woman who has brought me up to be the woman that i’am today.She has been the strongest empowerment i ever got in this life and i will forever be thankfull to this woman.The love of my heart.Funny how people see me from a far and think my life was a bed of roses……haha i’m still laughing at the joke…oh well,we all entitled to our opinion …and i don’t blame anymore for the opinions they might have of me ….yes now i’m all good but there are various books behind the progress and the story but thank God for the promise He made which was …that He has great plans for us,of prosperity.I believe in nothing less but His promise delievered to us by His son ..The Bible in mathew says seek and you shall  find ,again in mark it says whatever you ask for in prayer believe you have recieved it and it will be yours….this are not my own words but those of God…so your success is dependant on you..The right pillar for your success is your parent ….they are your backbone  of your development,success and anything that entails progress…..so here iam trying to convince you that there is more to life than just being sad because the situation or circustance you’re in is not favourable to to your own liking…

 

GOD’S SILENCE.

-God loves you so much that sometimes he will have you hidden in preparation for what He has in store for you.

-Don’t compare your life to other people .

-God’s purpose for your life is different from others .

-as long as you’re comparing your situation to others you’ll be frustrated.

-God’s silence is a time of preparation.

-The reason you’re hidden is because you’re extremely special ,a masterpiece.

-Let God develop you to the promised destination .

-Go an extra mile when no one is watching .

-God uses the delays and the difficulties to get us prepared..

-Where you are going you can’t be offended by every negative ,dissatisfaction or disappointnent that comes your way .

-Your approval doesn’t need to come from people it comes from God

-Your time is too valuable to waste on petty things .

-You don’t give up on a dream because it didn’t work it the first time .

-God is not preparing the blessing for you ,He is preparing you for the blessing .

-Put down what God needs you to .Don’t let a small thing keep you hidden from your gifting .Forget the pride ,hate and anything else .

-Learn to talk to God everyday and everytime .Create the connection .

-You maybe be hidden but God has the right people to keep you going to your destined purpose .

-Deal with things that are holding you back from getting your light .

-Nothing that has happened to you is a surprise to God .He is aware of everything that you go and have gone through .

-Trust God’s timing

-It’s much better to let God promote you than people .

(1st kings 17)

-When you’re Faithfull in the silent season God will take you to places you’ve never been .

-Numbers 6

-DOORS.

Dear diary,

“When I’m with you, I act different. In a goodway of course. I smile more and laugh more. I don’t have to pretend everything is okay when it’s really not. With you, I can drop the fake smile and put on a real one. I don’t feel alone when i’m with you. Instead, I feel safe and loved. You’re easy to talk to, and you listen to me. I don’t have to worry about holding back with you. I dont’t feel self conscious. I don’t ever feel insecure or sad. You show me that you really do care and you’re not just pretending. I really appreciate your company, because with you I’m different. With you, I’m HAPPY.

BUT THEN AGAIN,

With you I lost myself. I turned into someone I never knew was there. I wasn’t loved or cared for. With you I cried almost every single night. I’d hide away from those I cared most for. With you I lost many, many friends. All because I thought for some reason you were different. With you I died inside.
Without you I am happy. I feel like I can live my life. Without you I have reconnected with my friends. I could never leave them again. Without you I don’t spend my nights thinking I’m no longer good enough because I now know I’m worth more than gold. You made me feel so small in such a enormous world. I am proud to have let you go.

But you left, so none of these really matters anymore

I hope you fall in love with someone who always texts back and never lets you fall asleep making you feel unwanted.
I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies and burns cookies with you while you’re both busy dancing around the kitchen.

I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you when you’re cold and wouldn’t have it any other way.
I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and makes you smile on hard days and on easy ones.

But beyond all that,
I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and who will never take you for granted.
Someone who will stand by you when you’re right and stand by you when you’re wrong.
Someone who has seen you at your worst and has loved you still.

I hope you fall inlove with someone who will make you feel the HAPPIEST than the happy I gave you .

All you need is someone who would listen to your nonstop worries. That someone who wouldn’t mind to go out with you in a middle of the day.
All you need is someone who wouldn’t try to advise you because they know better.
Or because you are too stupid for doing this.

All you need is someone who accepts your mess rather than organising it .

And that’s why I close doors of hindrance.

To my faithful diary😊

AGONY.

One minute they ache to touch you, the next day they want nothing to do with you. Feelings are a fickle thing. You want answers, you need closure, and now you’re laying awake at night trying to hold yourself together because you allowed yourself to be vulnerable. You are full of love for someone who saw what you had to offer – and they decided they didn’t want it. This, an unbearable version of the many forms of loneliness.

A THOUGHT IN THE NIGHT.

Couples who break up and get back together all of the time may be dysfunctional, may be unhealthy, may be toxic, but there’s also something beautiful and genuine about it. They will always be drawn to each other and they will always have that damaged, but unbreakable connection. It won’t always be happy, it won’t always be exciting, and it won’t always be easy, but that’s okay because the pain’s only a reminder that you truly care. It also shows how strong they are and how they’re willing to fight for one another because a real relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. Sometimes, you have to walk away to realize what you’re leaving behind. Sometimes, you have to let go in order to remember why you held on for so long. Sometimes, you have to lose someone so you can find their worth and value again. There will be days where you won’t deserve each other, there will times where you’ll hate each other, and there will be moments where you’ll feel like you’re truly done. But in the end, your heart will always be in the right place. Your mind might not always be in the right place, but your heart always will be. Everybody will judge and have their opinion on it, but as long as you two understand each other and know your relationship, that’s all that matters. It’ll never be perfect, it’ll never be ideal, but it will last because they both know that even if they leave each other from time to time, they’ll always find each other again.

ACCEPTANCE .

….Talk talk….Talk… A few months ago I would have endlessly argued that someone’s comment about me would never at any one point affect me ….but honestly I was lying to myself if I said it didn’t .Well we all have to go through that point before realisation . I’m here to tell you today that you are beautiful irregardless of what people say .Whether your self esteem is at one hundred percent or not ,best believe you are a unique person and there can never be an exact copy of you. I was walking in town the other day behind two guys who were busy talking about a particular girl who was in front of them .So I follow through their conversation and I’m triggured to chip in the conversation but then again I’m just a stranger and that would look really creepy so Instead I continue to listen . Describing this girl as fat ..they use all other wrong terms talking about her and bursting out laughing .They keep talking about how if she’d have been thinner she’d look like this or that .They even go ahead to talk about how she is under dressed and how she doesn’t fit in the current society due to her poor sense of fashion . Why do people find it right to decide on how people should look??Honestly I find that very disturbing .Why should you make that decision for someone ? I mean let’s be honest ..we all have our tastes and preferences but does that necessarily mean that they have to look according to what you want ?? It is very wrong to judge a person by how they are physically put .You have no idea how they got in that place and are in no place to lay comments branding a person ugly .Some people are just broken to even care about how they look .Others don’t care because they don’t have the financial aid to put good looking outfits or eat all those “balanced diets”everyone talks about .Others have just been called ugly way too many times to actually see the need to be different or appreciate themselves . So I take a moment to tell you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made even if 99% of the world doesn’t see it ,there’s that one percent that should always be proud of the person you are .And that percent Is you .People are going to talk irregardless . I was at that particular point sometime back until I realised there’s need for me to embrace my physical appearance and move on with life . You know how everyone keeps calling you fat and it eventually begins to sink in that you really are fat??it doesn’t have to get to that point .You can always block out all that negative response from people .Because humans are bitter about everything ,even what doesn’t concern them .It’s your business to mind how you look and not anyone else’s .Don’t worry about their comments 😂😂they won’t Kill you ,though If you pay too much attention to them they’ll break you .Learn to see your beauty without expecting a confirmation from someone . If you feel beautiful dressed up in that short dress by all means wear it as many times as possible .if the maxi one is your style ,rock the shit out of that outfit .Be comfortable first under your own skin so that you can start feeling okay according to what you put on .If you’ve never tried a bikini because you fear people are going to laugh at you ,erase the thought and one of this days get a swim suit and go have your moment .Yes you can be big or fat or too skinny..but that’s in your place to decide .If you want to live by how people describe you or by how you see yourself .. Embrace your body width . You don’t have to change it because I’m sure there’s someone who loves you just the way you are and they wouldn’t want you to change a single part of you even if others don’t Be a different kind of repellant to negative vibe☝ @_africanah_ @_africanah Zuhura Neiseiyo💌………..

A letter.

In Debt\\…

I’m gonna need you to love me a little harder sometimes. Most days, I’ll act like I’m just fine. I’ll paint my smile across my face and wear it proudly. I’ll laugh loudly like I’ve never tasted sadness in my life. But other days, I will not be so strong. I will not walk boldly into the room, I will collapse into it. My vision of life will be clouded by darkness, and I will make my walls extra thick in hopes that you don’t notice. Please, notice. And when you do, pull me close. Hold me until we’re both too warm for anything else to matter. Let me breathe you in. Tell me that you love me, don’t stop until I respond, and then tell me again. I know this could be inconvenient for you, and I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a bother, but sometimes I need to be told that I’m worth it.

💌Zuhura Neiseiyo.

♡